"A legendary faller-off things."
Human (Mome) male, Cleric of Charon 5 (War)
STR 16, DEX 9, CON 14, INT 11, WIS 17, CHA 13
Knicklepump, like so many Momes, is a reckless drunk. Born in The Duchy of Southlake in northern Bigany, his life was uneventful until he was sent to sign a treaty in Eaglesbluff, Earl Altarius Kinnett’s Castle. From then on he did many unusual things.
The following is an extract from “The Lives of Great Momes: A study in hyberbolic spin” by Merryweather Onasis.
The Treaty of Eaglesbluff
He jumped off the top of Eaglesbluff Castle without a parachute because he was curious to see how their safety measures worked.
He was part of the group who thwarted a goblin attack on Eaglesbluff Castle and then escaped with 'The Telson', the eagle ship that had once been the roof of it’s tallest tower.
He took command of The Telson and flew it hundreds of miles off course while hammered, then landed it illegally to ask a peasant called Bernard of White Springs the way to Vercelone. Bernard suggested using charts and he rewarded him with a bottle of brandy.
He spied on an incredibly dangerous tiefling wizard from Az-Ylar called Impega and reported him to The Inquisition.
The Vercelone Tribunal
He enraged his distant relative Lord Sanders Stromolos by being incredibly rude to him.
Then he got Sanders sister Lady Wratherby Stromolos, stociously drunk and seduced her many times and all night long. They made so much noise that the sailors thought he they were being attacked and mounted a rescue. He then sold all The Telson's cargo to her.
He condemned Altarius Kinnett and Islington Mome to the Inquisition as worshippers of Cealg and was awarded the position of ships Chaplin aboard the Telson.
The Inquisition ordered him to assist Armand in a crucial quest and gave him a Scroll of The Inquisition to allow him to contact them.
He brought his personal retinue aboard The Telson, his valet - Winsor Newton, his courtesan - Isabel Diega, a fine dining chef - Gordo VanGeet, his sommelier - Verro VanGeet and his jester - Plunk.
During Armand's vision from Nadúir, he sipped from a silver goblet of exquisite port offered to him by his sommelier, while his jester farted.
The Skyport Trade Negotaitions
While the Captain was drunk in his cabin he decided to bring the ship to Freeport until the Inquisition ordered him to Skyport.
The Church Navy told him that Captain Sandobar Corleone of The Black Heart was extremely dangerous and a primary lead in their investigation of The Shepard’s Light Incident. They wanted him watched from a distance, so Knicklepump invited himself aboard Sandobar’s ship and drank brandy and smoked cigars with him while pretending to be a merchant.
Knicklepump did not fool Sandobar Corleone one bit. It was possibly the poorest and most obvious acting of the decade.
He escaped Sandobar's ambush on The Black Heart by being launched from a jettison, thanks to Lady Maris's bow and Kismet's magic. He stole Sandobar's crystal brandy decanter.
The Skyport Naval Clashes
He fought valiantly against the crew of The Slaughter a hobgoblin slaver with Fallen worshippers aboard and helped defeat Warlord Braxis of Legion 33.
He commandeered The Slaughter and it's Death Helm for The Church Navy and freed it's Chosen slaves.
He thwarted The Fallen God Saint's plans by giving his own treasure to the slaves to provide a better future for them.
Through deliberate action he successfully annoyed The Fallen God Saint.
He organised Charon combat tournaments on The Telson which raised crew morale and gained the favour of Cogadh.
Knicklepump ensured that those enemies that died in battle were given the appropriate Charon rites.
He and the party participated in an Éirleach ritual using their blood to open a shrine that contained the key to Braxis' strongbox. He gained an Éirleach Mark of Power on his chest.
Armand discovered that the brandy decanter he stole was actually a tracking device, so Knicklepump pissed in it and put it on The Slaughter's deck, which then went to the navy, they looked at him in disbelief. This went on his record as eccentric behaviour.
The Skeltons Hope Expedition
During the lightning attack on The Telson by Skelton's Hope's druidic defences, Knicklepump was struck in the middle of refilling his goblet from an exquisite silver samovar. A lightning bolt fused the goblet to the samovar and caused searing pain to Knicklepump which caused his hair to stand on end and almost killed him.
When Captain Scorpion ordered them over the side, his courtesan poured a potion into his mouth, his valet picked him up and handed him a parachute. His chef handed him a packed lunch and his sommelier pressed a flask of brandy into his pocket. He leapt to his destiny after a brief but passionate kiss with his courtesan.
Knicklepump was 'a legendary faller off things' and a well practiced parachutist who didn't always use a parachute. He deployed the chute poorly. It caught in the full green canopy and arrested his fall. As he was about to hit the ground, the buckles failed and his armoured ass landed on a stump. His flagon fell into his hand. He took a thoughtful sip.
The Works of Charity
He haggled fiercely with a beggar called Midge and then spent lavishly on a party with him in The Dozing Piglet.
During some drunken storytelling, he has a vision of Midge dragging Lord Adekumbé's weapon out of a lake. Midge was shocked into telling him the truth.
He promised to aid Midge in regaining his hand and Maris in regaining her eye and he performed a ritual of blessing on The Dozing Piglet.
The Vanquishing of The Fallen
He summoned the Church Navy to intercept The Warped Needle but it escaped.
In The Warrens under Skelton's Hope he was attacked by a grey ooze and his armour and weapon were badly damaged.
He expertly outwitted a gibbering mouther of Athrú using a silence spell and a spiritual weapon, but then was caught in the floor once it was killed. He then fought several undead including ghasts while stuck in the floor.
After fighting the Fallen minions of Lord Adekumbé's weapon in the pool and rescuing Captain Scorpion from death, he examined an ugly wound at the base of the captain's spine. "It's purple and swollen! And by Croí look at the size of it!" he exclaimed. He lanced it and blood and puss gushed out, Captain Scorpion nearly passed out from the pain. Shortly after the wound grew into a Telson and Knicklepump interviewed it to ensure that it was not Fallen, then offered it a drink.
The Rites of Naming
He initiated a sacred rite of combat between Maris Piper and the protectors of Khazûd-Vorr, in which she won The Star Hammer.
He named the Dwarven Alcholem Napoleon Morgan and it became his devoted servitor.
He insulted Armand, a bastard, by calling him riff raff, but smoothed over the sleight with brandy from his Keg Golem.
The Raison D’Etre
He fought bravely at every opportunity and praised Cogadh while doing so.